*my whole life is work - Working at Target has taught me that there are certain inalienable guarantees in life: people will always be stupid, lazy and inconsiderate. Sure, you come across a few sane people every now and again who actually aren't complete assholes, but even the well-meaning are partially brain dead. The broken record question of the year is: "Do you work here?" I am aware there are some customers that feel the inexplicable need to come to target dressed in a red shirt and khaki pants (which I personally think is also quite stupid and purposefully done on their part) but I have yet to see one customer walking around with a name badge on, walkie attached to their belt, scanner in hand and stocking shelves. I'm half tempted to say that I don't work there.. sending them off scratching their heads and leaving them to realize halfway home that I was being a prick.

I don't understand the obsession with having to open everything! People are attracted to neat and tidy aisles because they're subconsciously looking for a mess to make. Of this, I am convinced. They open everything from boxes of medication to pads. PADS!! What, do you need to examine before you buy or something? They're pads! Fuck off man! Open a package and feel if a sheet is soft, fine. Just close it back up afterwards and don't fucking throw it on the floor and, for fucks sakes, you don't need to remove the entire thing from the package.

A job like this will always make you see people in general as mindless beasts with a "seek to destroy" mentality, but it's a toss up between wether you will adore them and their utter dependence on you to find the simplest items.. or loathe them because you realize a kennel of rabid dogs would behave better.

Guess which view I take.

NAAR LJ

*a favor to ask - So.. you know how sometimes you'll be in a store and you see an item you kinda want, so you pick it up and carry it around with you only to decide some time later that you actually don't want it?


In this situation should you either:

a.) Place said item on whatever shelf you happen to be standing closest to, even if it's a disposable camera and you're standing next to dish soaps.

b.) Throw it on some random end cap display at the check out line.

c.) Fucking walk your lazy ass back to where you got it and put it back WHERE IT BELONGS!!


I'll tell you what, people.. if you are not the type to go with the third option, I hate your goddamn guts. Part of my job when I stay late nights is to put back all that stupid SHIT people just leave in random places around the store. I put in more than an hour of unpaid overtime last night just putting all that crap back.

To make matters worse for me, I was also zoning the toy area last night. It was my job to reorganize and straighten up that whole area. It is, by far, the messiest section in any store. Holy shit. I officially hate kids parents who don't make their demon seeds precious little ones put shit back where it goes. Do they think that Aqua Doodle magically walks itself back to where it belongs? I don't fucking think so. God damn you.

In other news, I've mastered small talk and I'm only mildly retarded when I'm forced to cashier.

True story: When I was working register on Tuesday, a woman came into my lane with two carts full of utter crap. The second cart was entirely 50 cent items. She stands there watching the prices as they're scanned to make sure they all come out to her satisfaction and never once does she complain or raise concern about the prices of the items scanned. First off, I spent 20 minutes scanning all her stuff. The computer couldn't even register the items as quickly as I scanned and bagged them. I was in the fucking zone, man. After I finished scanning and bagging the just under 300 items, she shifts her attention to my computer screen and is watching the items scroll by as we wait for the computer to register everything and total it up. Suddenly she sees an item she neglected to tell me about before as I was scanning. The following conversation transpired:


"What's that 2.99 thing?"
"The computer says it's an item called 'Dora' ma'am."
"What's Dora?"
"I'm not sure. That's just what the item is registered as in the system."
"Well whatever it is I don't want it."
".. You don't want it?"
"No."
"So.. do you want me to.. *glancing at the two carts full of bags* take it out of whatever bag it's in?"
"Yes."

Not only did I not know what item "Dora" was, but neither did she. Then she expects me to dive into both of her carts and go through the 50 some-odd bags, guess what item "Dora" was, then void it from her transaction. Oh.. and then.. and THEN... she has the nerve to mention as the amount was totaling up that she didn't know if she even had enough to pay for it all! Hi. I hate people.

..but now I do it with a smile.

NAAR LJ

*blargh!@%!* - I've been robbed by this hussy. We have ourselves a case of Grand Theft Icon ..ha.

Looks familiar, right? He's my splash page monster/creature/blob, but he originally started out as my aim icon (still is) a year ago and around the same time, Liz asked to use him as her LJ icon (still does).

I'm extremely quick tempered when it comes to people stealing from me - be it graphics, my pictures or my lame ass coding.. but I'm hardly a rabid bitch. I honestly might not have minded if she'd simply asked. I may not have even minded if she used it without asking, but credited me. Hell, I may have even cut her some slack if she took it and never gave one second's thought to the idea it probably belonged to someone. Though I completely draw the line when she very blatantly steals it from the one person I actually allowed to use it and then turns around and calls that person a SLUT for using "her" icon.

You may think, "It's just an icon, get over it." but it's purely the priciple of the matter, so yes I made WHOLE post about my icon theif. Sweet Jesus.. I hate people.

NAAR LJ

*BOYCOTT WAL-MART - Not because of anything Wal-Mart's done, but because I am now a Target employee team member.. making Wal-Mart my competitor and sworn enemy. Oh.. and also because I applied at Wal-Mart a really long time ago and they wouldn't hire me. For that, I've always been a little bitter. As I told Liz, I don't think I met the age requirements to work at Wal-Mart - you either have to be 16 or 56. Fuck Wal-Mart.

So yes, apparently hell has indeed frozen over because I am now gainfully employed.. and this time, it's not by a con artist - which is always a plus. I charmed my way through three on-the-spot interviewers immediately after I applied. In short, I'm awesome. ..or they were extremely desperate which I doubt because I actually am quite awesome.

I'm really glad my Natural Glow review got a couple of you to try and love it. I told you it was a goddamn amazing product. Further proof that I am awesome.

Oh, and happy belated 4th of July everyone (and belated Canada Day to my little eskimos up north)!

Speaking of which, I haven't seen Bex for a few days now. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say she's probably popping a baby out of her vagina. I hope you took my forceful suggestion and got that epidural, my dear. <3


Well I have to go. I have like.. work and stuff today. :0D

NAAR LJ

*product review - Jergen's Natural Glow: If you've crawled out from under your rock anytime in the last couple of months, you've heard of this stuff. This product has a lot of hype attached to it which was the main reason I wanted to try it - that and the fact that I have a pastey exterior to top all pastey exteriors and I'm still not too keen on the tanning bed/cancer box option yet. Anyhow, this product promises to create "a healthy, summer glow all year long just by moisturizing."


For comparison
My skin color: Pale, but not Irish pale. I am able to tan when I put time into it.
Shade used: Jergen's sells two types of Natural Glow - one catering to fair skin types, and one to medium. I used medium.
Application: Applied once a day after showering, usually before bed.



Waiting period? How long before you notice this color coming through? I noticed a faint change after the first day, but I'm sure no one else would've. The second day was the most ovbious change, and the best color started to show after day 4. Be aware that there is a drying period after applying it. The bottle says allow "several minutes" to dry before putting on clothes. To be on the safe side, I waited 10 and never had a problem.

Going overboard? Could you apply too much and maybe get darker than you wanted? No. This seems to take you to a certain shade and does not get darker. Any applications you make after about a week are to maintain that color, not to darken it.

Tony the Tiger? So the number one concern most have when they try a self tanner is the potential to come out of it resembling a zebra. With this stuff, you won't. I took a big risk and successfully managed to apply this product to my own back both evenly and without streakage. I've heard a few horror stories about girls who tried Natural Glow and wound up looking like the inside of their boyfriend's boxers, but the one thing they all had in common was trying to apply the lotion twice in one day with no showering in between applications. A very common rule with stuff like this, ONLY APPLY IT TO CLEANSED SKIN! Or suffer the consequences.

Natural Glow went on well around my elbows and kness. I'll admit this color didn't like my ankles much, but it was an easy fix. You never put much tanner on your feet no matter what product you use. Short of being a complete idiot or leaving a blob of lotion on your skin to it's own devices, you won't end up stripey.

Sun Kissed or Bottle Bronze? Most products like this claim natural looking color but deliver an orange tint that screams, "CHEAP SUNLESS TANNER HERE!" So are you going to end up orange? I expected to, but did not. My color came out subtle and believable. If you want to look like George Hamilton (?), this is NOT for you. This gave my skin a very natural, healthy looking glow and I could not be more pleased with it. My skin just looks great right now. *For an unexpected, added bonus.. it evened out my tan lines. Heck yes!

The shaving test: The handful of sunless tanners I've tried in the past have always had a bad habit of being stripped off my skin by my razor in the shower. I'd literally come out as white as I was before I put the tanner on. I figured Natural Glow would fail in this area no matter how good it did in all the others. Though all of the color did not survive the razor, I'd say a good 85-90% of it did.

Overall:
Pros: Easy to apply, moisturizes, no streaks, natural color, lasts through shaving.
Cons: Very tiny sparkles which I found to be annoying, slight self tanner smell but not as bad as most.
Rating:


Aside from this crap being so fucking impossible to find, I really loved almost everything about it.. and what I didn't love, I could tolerate. Prices vary depending where you find it, but I got this for less than 5 bucks at Wal-Mart. So, my fellow pigmentally challenged friends, this product is definitely worth a try.. I recommend.

NAAR LJ

*making poverty trendy - Liz and I both agree that nobody would have one iota of concern about "making poverty history" if it wasn't endorsed by every celebrity on Earth (whose combined income could probably abolish poverty entirely). I'm tired of seeing that stupid banner in the corner of everyone's websites, and if you have one, admit you only put it there because you saw it on everyone else's websites. Why doesn't anyone support causes they genuinely care about anymore? It's all about whatever gets the most PR and has the most color coordinated rubber bracelet. Damn you, Brad Pitt.

Okay, so I'm mean.. whatever.


EDIT: Don't worry, Jerry. I've already begun working on your cause.

NAAR LJ

*time to pump me up - I'm a little really out of shape. More than that, my health has been tremendously affected by my lifestyle and shitty eating habits.. I'm one of those "The only exercise I get is walking the distance from the couch to the fridge" types. It's really gross. If my metabolism wasn't sky high, I'd look like the numa numa kid right now. Aww I just want to pinch his cheeks. You can't tell me your heart doesn't melt when he starts bouncing his chubby little arms to the beat. Admit it, he's the most annoying cute tugs-at-your-heartstrings thing since the fat star wars kid. I bet they both get so much poon now. Go, fat kids, go!

I really don't want to be one of those people you need to cut a wall open for just so they can get out of their house. So I'm going to start working out (God help me) and getting in shape. I thought about doing one of those exercise blogs, but I could never really bring myself to read anyone else's so I figured I wouldn't add to the stupidity of the whole concept. I will, however, probably periodically post "before, during, after" pictures of the progress. If that still seems like a good idea in a few days, I'll probably get that posted up soon.

Content is up. Sort of. It's lacking. Feel free to give me ideas about what to do with this damn website.

NAAR LJ

*monster-in-law sucks - Wait for it to come out on DVD. They put all the funniest parts in the trailer and staring at Jane Fonda's arm flaps gets old really fast. I had a feeling I should've gone to see "The Longest Yard" instead. Fucking J-Lo.

I haven't forgotten about my site again. I was on vacation visiting my boyfriend *gasp*. We went apartment hunting *double gasp*. Contrary to Robert's reasoning, I don't have a wedding ring (yet?) or a baby to excuse my long absence. I was just lazy. :0)

I've decided that IE is pretty standard on most computers. Sure, some of you really don't use it anymore, and maybe I'm living in the stone age, but IE actually loves my HTML-retarded ass. If you want to view my site correctly, open up a goddamn IE window and do it! (Thank you, Sanni!) Or volunteer to code my page for me because I'm too friggin lazy to figure it out. In the meantime, I'll put up a splash page (which I HATE) naming IE as my god and the only way to ensure you're viewing my website correctly. If you refuse to use IE, I cannot be blamed for my tables being upside down, reversed and floating around your screen. :0D Content to be added shortly bit by bit.. starting today. Yesssssss.

NAAR LJ

*resuscitate - I haven't decided entirely what I want to do with this site, but I am tired of leaving it to rot. Besides, leaving it alone for extended periods of time seems to make arrogant little bitch boys think that I'll be gone so long I won't notice if they steal my HTML. Pfft.. I know my error-ridden coding anywhere, honey.

So, let's see if I can revive this bitch just a little bit. I've still got to add content, obviously, but I'm not entirely sure how to go about doing that so that mac and mozilla users can view it. Fuck you guys for abandoning IE and leaving me here to perish. I hate you.

NAAR LJ